Forgetting To Be Married

Forgetting to be married can sabotage all your hopes and dreams for a healthy family. It is very easy for the roles to blur between being a parent and being a spouse. A major task will be to safeguard your marriage by putting your spouse ahead of the children at appropriate times. Remember, marital happiness is important not only for us but for our children as well.

While doing things as a family, many couples fail to keep some time on the busy calendar for them alone.  It’s important to do fun things together as a couple. It keeps the relationship dynamic and relieves some of the stress brought on by parenting demands.

Cindy and I learned this when we went to a restaurant for our first dinner as parents. We looked forward to being with each other and having a nice meal. Thinking that a babysitter was unnecessary, we brought our newborn daughter along assuming she would sleep through the meal in her carrier.  It was working out great until the dinners arrived at our table.  Just as we were beginning to enjoy the tasty seafood our dear daughter made a noise that could be heard several tables away.  The odor that followed did not contribute to an enjoyable meal.  We realized then that our couple time needed to be separate from our parenting.

As our family grew and we became more immersed in parenting, one of the key things we did was to get control of the family calendar.  We monitored our activities to prevent over-commitment and to have some semblance of a life at home. Date nights were intentionally put on the family calendar and money for babysitters was allocated in the family budget. Occasionally, Cindy and I would go away by ourselves on an overnight trip not far from home.

We also found it helpful to put the kids to bed at a decent hour on a regular basis.  Not only did they benefit from the rest and routine, but we also found time in the evening for each other.

Your marriage is a rich and personal resource for your children. As you focus on your children and all that is involved in raising them, don’t forget to be married.